Tuesday, September 22, 2009

reflections on my train of thought :)

this blog of mine has been really dusty.

*blows wind and wipes it off*


i have a roller coaster ride of my life.
but i didnt come back here to archive it here.


I just come back - cos i feel it is necessary to reflect on the quality of our thoughts and the materials we read.

okay, i 'fess up. i have been STUDYING for my UNDERSTANDING SINGAPORE SOCIETY quiz, in like, 9 hours later.

and my brain is overloaded with info.
it is heavy information.

on how singapore come to independence, the factors etc.

i was so overwhelmed that i switched off and checked out laptop coolers for my HOT macbook pro.


and i surfed some familiar blogs

and i realised:

i am no longer content with just mere thoughts.
i am now into questioning fundamentals.
idealistic ideas are just paper.

how can we bring actions into the future.
its pretty much like
what are the problems in singapore now
what are the good policies
the bad and how we move on from here.

can our generation truly take the baton from our predecessors?
we are the green-house generation.
we lived in great peace, no lack and all levels of material comfort
we have never really fought. really.

just studying about LKY, Toh Chin Chye, BG Lee etc - all these great leaders of Singapore, made me admire their drive.


and reading shallow readings of academic scholar of Michael Barr's treatment in addressing LKY disturbed me. i was so tempted to close the document, BUT i perserved - to read the entire LKY readings and - it totally opened my mind to why PAP did some things they did.

I used to hold a skeptical view on "foreign talents" and felt that way when i saw LKY's "a population of 3 million cannot toss up enough talents for a globalised workforce"

until i read it till the end.
and now i realised - Oh, so this is why.

BUT

i have my comments as well. because as much as this policy made sense to me - there was not enough social safeguard in my opinion and experience.

to give a peek: is it any wonder why Singapore is having an issue with bond-breakers? Why do THEY wanna BREAK their bonds in the first place?

because they feel second-rated.

and as of right now, as i plow through the thick stack of notes and readings, i have yet to find any academic writings or reflections addressing this.

when i do, i hope i wont be disappointed. But again, a paradigm shift that opened my eyes to the wisdom and quirks of our modern Singapore father - LKY.

and truly, I do think LKY and PAP were really - more than smart. They are really blessed and lucky that whatever decisions, research, advisors (from UN techical assistance) all pointed them to a sound direction. And they are even luckier that it even worked - given Singapore's limitation of no natural resource and little food and water self-sufficiency.

but i am really thankful most - that LKY did the right thing to engage MNCs for Singapore's manufacturing industry - so different from the much favoured importation substituition of most decolonised states of that time.

It is one thing to be make a good decisions. It is another to be brave enough to bear it through - when it is unheard of.



I wonder will our local young have this tenacity and foresight and instinct.

the issue of Singapore's brain-drain.
is it any wonder?
it is a product of the Modernisation in Singapore.
China does not seem to face it.

WHY?
is it because of China's huge population mass?

or is there something fundamentally wrong in the Singapore culture and system
and it is beginning to manifest it's results in my generation?

will the PAP be able to act in time, to counter political apathy and draw enough talents to sustain a good government for the next generation?

can the PAP do it again?

Thursday, April 30, 2009

as You are, so are we.

when the stage is bear tonight. 
there is no one else, just you and me


Esther,
God will provide. 

for the troubles I am facing
for the building fund I am working on. 


and as i listen to the worship song...


just sing. 
sing out of worship
sing out of your heart.
just sing out of all that you are. 

and put faith.
faith in God's words.
Faith. 

Faith is the belief in things unseen.

As you are, so are we. 

Saturday, March 07, 2009

God my everything

she hides in the rain
and looks up to Him.
she just smile at Him.

God loves her. 
that is enough. 
with God. 

God, my shephard
my shelter
my song.
God my love
God my carrier. 
God my sword
God my spirit. 
God my everything. 

her art

her mechanical actions synchronised with the music
she silently believed in
she listens carefully.

she acted out of obedience
she chose to do things out of faithfulness
she knows what she does

she believes in what she sees
she trusts her heart and His heart.

it is not a poem about Him
It is a poem from her to Him
it is a poem singing about her love. 

a love that is quiet
a love that suffers
a love that grows
a love that strengthens
a love
that stretches far beyond her beliefs.

she needs help
she needs his company

but she knows her diginity too. 
She does things with a silent diginity
not what they say
what does He say

she asked questions
and she listens to a silent poetry within

singing and hmming
she believes in what she do
and the faithfulness in what she do
cos she knows
she is loved and trusted by Him

By Him
that is all that is enough
that is all that she needs. 
By Him. 

Saturday, February 28, 2009

Esteem and Edify



its a long awaited post again =D 

Sunday, February 15, 2009

by God.

i dont need to do anything now.

i just need to stand.

be still.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

esther thinking.

esther is smiley happy orange. :) 

Saturday, January 17, 2009

silent afternn

let it out
from paper to presence
into reality. 

its not about the endless books
its not about the mindless chase

ah.
looking to God for affirmation, for confirmation, for direction.
actually...
its true. 

just wanna sit down, 
write
jewel
draw.

_____________________________________________________________________

she just look and smiled
silently at her work
quietly at her friends

this is like her lil song
her playful sketch
her finger run through
her pages
her pencils
her everything

the reminiscence of her lazy afternoons
her little moments
her endless nights to get work done

missing her beauty sleep.


even esther herself dont know what to do.