colourpencil your life on hot-press paper

this smile just radiates from my heart

its beyond words

i wont bother to explain either

i am just blessed.

a conversation with cg members during lunch with edrei ard (rick came for christmas service as well! ) made me wanna pen this down:

jl simply asked:

so how are you doing in sch?

a basic answer of hmhm... can lah - is further explained upon probing.

THIS SEMESTER is MY TOUGHEST EVER.

let's tick it up in summary:

the beginning:

1) Organiser for NTU-NUS combined orientation camp (which i eventually handover everything to dear wei liang cos i have to go for ADM camp. missing out on the great fellowship with zihao, cheryl, jiji, ziyun, ching seng, yong siang, etc etc. and over at nus - with myrna, changhan, yuantai, lips etc. ) i always rember the crazy emails we sent to each other, over the phone - planning and discussing games, applying to SAO with all possible means for hostel accomodations, calling calling... it was mad. programming, logistics, outreach, overall programme flow, sourcing for ogls, agls, programmers,  etc all into one... it was too tough to handle. it was too much for me and zihao to take care off. then xiaoting and jeremy came in to help share the burden for the ntu ministry side... thank God...i have to admit i was deeply saddened at missing out the fellowship. i know the camp has forged deep friendships and i wished i was there to share in the fun and get to know more people as well. i really have to thank Wei Liang for being a good brother, for stepping forward to offer to help in whatever small ways in the initial days. and agreeing to take over from me when the new camp date clashes directly with my school camp. Thank you really, you dont know how much you impacted me through your willingness to help and serve people. But more importantly, to remind me to stay close to God and as you said: God knows. God knows how you feel.

you reminded me of God's grace and rest when i need it most. thank you. 

2) assistant clan mistress with stepsister clan.

gosh, this really tires me out. it ORIENTATION CAMP no matter what.

3) Group Leader with hall 8 foc. 

gotta thank the rest of the gls, cgl - edrei, acgls for their support and understanding. i reckon it took me half way thru the camp - into tue or more rather, wed to RECOVER into my USUAL hyper level - having exhausted most of it in ADM camp

4) NTU ministry Drama production.

a firm timeline lost track due to necessary changes in schedules... i admit that when it stretched unto school time... i lost track and got overwhelmed... not forgetting my other commitments... really gotta thank Jiji for being so supportive and encouraging. Han Kiong for helping with the designs request...terence for helping the publicity team and keeping it going! yong siang, for helping to print... being a great brother who also helped me out in reaching out to my friends...  i really gotta give credit to jiji... for standing by me and just talking sense into me. i am most touched by her unselfishness and willingness to sacrifice when she volunteered: esther, i dont mind doing saturation alone. i was completely awed by her heart of love and sacrifice. saturation - is not something you want to alone. seriously. imagine going door to door - hall to hall. and there are 16 halls in ntu, averaging 4 blocks, 100-150 pax per block, so lets average out 30 single rooms, 70-120 double rooms, ... hmhm aiyah, wanna stop counting now!

either way, to go door to door to reach out and talk to people is not easy. i just wanna thank so many people for teaching me through this journey of serving in ntu ministry. its been a great moment, though it was REALLY tiring and i gotta admit at times, i felt so stressed and saddened at the thought of missing out fellowship (i was serving concurrently for the NTU-NUS Orientation camp) ... and jiji will drop a message: thank you esther. at the opportune moment when i need encouragement most. thank you Jiji, you are truly an angel from the Lord to guide me in adm. 

looking at you, makes me wanna be an angel to another person. 

let me just round up.

my greatest learning journey is serving the NTU ministry during the orientation camp planning. it really opened my eyes. God, thank you for giving me a chance to serve you. Thank you, i dont know how i could have made it all through without you. the Holy Spirit ministered to my sense of loss and emptyness by showing me one important moment:

again, through the beautiful jiji

it all started ordinarily enough

i see my sister, i just ran forward to hug her. 

she brought along a friend from nus - whom she got to know through the orientation camp

to church service.

it was during praise and worship, that the Holy Spirit put immense joy in my heart by pouring understanding into me the impact of my actions and serving. Through my efforts, deep friendships amongst people are forged. unbelievers stepped into church because of this opportunity that was created out of my hands and efforts. 

i know right then, God has helped me move on by putting a finishing chapter into my heart, by telling me - what are the fruits through serving. 

as long as i can bring someone to church indirectly through my efforts, by creating an opportunity for us to reach out, i know all i have done is worth it. 

and it is further sweetened when i saw that she answered altar call.

how can i explain? it is exceptionally impactful cos of the sower and seeds parable that God showed me and gave me a choice of who do i want to be? the sower or the one who develops the seeds? i choose to be the one who develops the seeds, thats why i choose to study product design. 

Semester on:

1) Election Campaign and elected to office. 

it was a tough journey. Thank God for His grace. for the landslide victory =)

and... my office post is really NOT easy!!! but thank God that through this position, i got to know more people and reach out to them. thank you God =) 

2) Family

God knows the pain that happened to me through it all. From the very start of election campaign to the end of semester - so much has happened it stretched me throughly.

i just cried out and asked Him, told Him and just cry to Him. Only God knows my pain, no one else can.

3)School Work

it all started okay, until towards the end of semester - with the bottleneck of what schoolwork piling up, family, presentations and lots of improvement required. Thats why i am in school, to learn and sharpened my skills. 

4) adm ntu ministry ic.

ar. honestly, i must do a better job. i was... stretched too thin. But i wanna thank Jiji, Jason, Han Kiong and Venis for coming down to the ntu ministry's prayer meetings and showing support to the meetings i organised. 

5) Halloween 

its a tough cookie! with so much in my hands and right at the moment of what happened to my family, i was in great distress. But i gotta thank God for giving me this chance to reach out and show my sincerity in working with people and most importantly, gaining the trust of people. thank you God for the people i worked with, it tested me on my long-sufferings, patience, understanding and pr skills with people. Most importantly, it tested me to guide with love. Guiding with love is indeed not easy. 

a wild ride isnt it. this semester.